{"id":310,"date":"2020-09-28T20:38:45","date_gmt":"2020-09-28T20:38:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/?page_id=310"},"modified":"2020-10-03T02:12:39","modified_gmt":"2020-10-03T02:12:39","slug":"setting-up-your-babys-bassinet-or-something","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/?page_id=310","title":{"rendered":"Supplemental Material"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading\">Supplemental Material<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><b>Jump to:<\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/?page_id=310#bassinet\">Setting Up Your Baby&#8217;s Bassinet. Or Something.<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/?page_id=310#poobomb\">The Poo Bomb<\/a> (Warning only strong stomachs need apply.)<\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/?page_id=310#at5months\">Cordelia at 5-7 months.<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/?page_id=310#at9months\">Cordelia at 9ish months.<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/?page_id=310#at12months\">Cordelia at 12ish months.<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-black-background-color has-black-color is-style-wide\" id=\"bassinet\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading\">Setting Up Your Baby&#8217;s Bassinet. Or Something.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>This article depicts the process of setting up the bassinet in which my baby Cordelia was to sleep. My goal was to create an environment which was comfortable, comforting, and stimulating to her tiny brain.<\/p>\n\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\">\n#foogallery-gallery-496 .fg-image { width: 300px; }\n#foogallery-gallery-496 { --fg-gutter: 15px; }<\/style>\n\t\t\t<div class=\"foogallery foogallery-container foogallery-default foogallery-lightbox-foobox fg-center fg-default fg-ready fg-light fg-border-thick fg-round-small fg-shadow-outline fg-loading-partial fg-loaded-fade-in fg-caption-always fg-hover-fade fg-hover-zoom\" id=\"foogallery-gallery-496\" data-foogallery=\"{&quot;item&quot;:{&quot;showCaptionTitle&quot;:true,&quot;showCaptionDescription&quot;:true},&quot;lazy&quot;:true}\" style=\"--fg-title-line-clamp: 0; --fg-description-line-clamp: 0;\" >\n\t<div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Bassinet1.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Step 1 - Reassuring\n\nWe wanted the bassinet to be a place where Cordelia would feel comforted, even if mommy and daddy were off watching TV.\n\nNote the stuffed Power Puff girl. It is place just above where the baby&#039;s head will be, so she can always see it.\" data-caption-title=\"Bassinet 1\" data-attachment-id=\"74\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Bassinet 1\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Bassinet1\/1583558998.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22300%22%20height%3D%22300%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20300%20300%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Bassinet 1<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Step 1 &#8211; Reassuring\n\nWe wanted the bassinet to be a place where Cordelia would feel comforted, even if mommy and daddy were off watching TV.\n\nNote the stuffed Power Puff girl. It is place just above where the baby&#8217;s head will be, so she can always see it.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Bassinet2.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Step 2 - Comfortable\n\nNext, we needed something there to keep the little girl wrapped up and warm.\n\nThat is what we bought plastic bags for. They are airtight, so baby&#039;s precious warmth won&#039;t slip away.\" data-caption-title=\"Bassinet 2\" data-attachment-id=\"73\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Bassinet 2\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Bassinet2\/1857590066.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22300%22%20height%3D%22300%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20300%20300%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Bassinet 2<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Step 2 &#8211; Comfortable\n\nNext, we needed something there to keep the little girl wrapped up and warm.\n\nThat is what we bought plastic bags for. They are airtight, so baby&#8217;s precious warmth won&#8217;t slip away.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Bassinet3.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Step 3 - Educational\n\nFinally, we needed some sort of learning toy. Something to stimulate the baby&#039;s brain.\n\nThus, the hammer and nails.\" data-caption-title=\"Bassinet 3\" data-attachment-id=\"72\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Bassinet 3\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Bassinet3\/1384695552.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22300%22%20height%3D%22300%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20300%20300%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Bassinet 3<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Step 3 &#8211; Educational\n\nFinally, we needed some sort of learning toy. Something to stimulate the baby&#8217;s brain.\n\nThus, the hammer and nails.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Conclusion &#8211;<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Sadly, not every parent is as thoughtful and loving as I am. For example, my wife, when she saw the results of my planning and hard work, started screaming. She may or may not have stopped by now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-black-background-color has-black-color is-style-wide\" id=\"poobomb\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading\">Early Pictures of Cordelia <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">(Warning only people with strong stomachs need apply. Click for more &#8220;fun.&#8221;)<\/p>\n\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\">\n#foogallery-gallery-492 .fg-image { width: 50px; }\n#foogallery-gallery-492 { --fg-gutter: 15px; }<\/style>\n\t\t\t<div class=\"foogallery foogallery-container foogallery-default foogallery-lightbox-foobox fg-center fg-default fg-ready fg-light fg-border-thick fg-round-small fg-shadow-outline fg-loading-partial fg-loaded-fade-in fg-caption-hover fg-hover-fade fg-hover-zoom3\" id=\"foogallery-gallery-492\" data-foogallery=\"{&quot;item&quot;:{&quot;showCaptionTitle&quot;:true,&quot;showCaptionDescription&quot;:true},&quot;lazy&quot;:true}\" style=\"--fg-title-line-clamp: 0; --fg-description-line-clamp: 0;\" >\n\t<div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Happy.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Here is Cordelia in her natural habitat: the carrying case.\" data-caption-title=\"Carrying Case Baby\" data-attachment-id=\"80\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Carrying Case Baby\" width=\"50\" height=\"50\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Happy\/1150750323.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%2250%22%20height%3D%2250%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%2050%2050%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Carrying Case Baby<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Here is Cordelia in her natural habitat: the carrying case.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/PooBomb.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Cordelia\u2019s first poo bomb. Or, at least, the first one Jeff had to face. Oh, the humanity!\" data-caption-title=\"Poo Bomb\" data-attachment-id=\"81\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Poo Bomb\" width=\"50\" height=\"50\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/PooBomb\/4158758944.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%2250%22%20height%3D%2250%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%2050%2050%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Poo Bomb<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Cordelia\u2019s first poo bomb. Or, at least, the first one Jeff had to face. Oh, the humanity!<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/BabyRoast.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Our baby is miraculously saved by the inadequate size of our broiling pan. Darn you, baby!\" data-caption-title=\"Baby Roast\" data-attachment-id=\"78\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Baby Roast\" width=\"50\" height=\"50\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/BabyRoast\/401227017.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%2250%22%20height%3D%2250%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%2050%2050%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Baby Roast<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Our baby is miraculously saved by the inadequate size of our broiling pan. Darn you, baby!<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/FooFoo2.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Another picture of our happy little angel.\" data-caption-title=\"Foo Foo\" data-attachment-id=\"79\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Foo Foo\" width=\"50\" height=\"50\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/FooFoo2\/4224066446.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%2250%22%20height%3D%2250%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%2050%2050%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Foo Foo<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Another picture of our happy little angel.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-black-background-color has-black-color is-style-wide\" id=\"at5months\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading\">Cordelia At 5 Months<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">Our little Gerber baby. <\/p>\n\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\">\n#foogallery-gallery-495 .fg-image { width: 200px; }\n#foogallery-gallery-495 { --fg-gutter: 10px; }<\/style>\n\t\t\t<div class=\"foogallery foogallery-container foogallery-default foogallery-lightbox-foobox fg-center fg-default fg-ready fg-light fg-border-thick fg-round-small fg-shadow-outline fg-loading-default fg-loaded-fade-in fg-caption-hover fg-hover-fade fg-hover-zoom\" id=\"foogallery-gallery-495\" data-foogallery=\"{&quot;item&quot;:{&quot;showCaptionTitle&quot;:true,&quot;showCaptionDescription&quot;:true},&quot;lazy&quot;:true}\" style=\"--fg-title-line-clamp: 0; --fg-description-line-clamp: 0;\" >\n\t<div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Baby_Parade.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Mathematically proven to have achieved perfect cuteness.\" data-attachment-id=\"76\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Baby Parade\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Baby_Parade\/4037275161.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Mathematically proven to have achieved perfect cuteness.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Eating.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Early attempt to feed solids. Note expression of limitless woe.\" data-attachment-id=\"77\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"First Eats\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Eating\/243994249.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Early attempt to feed solids. Note expression of limitless woe.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/BabyHat.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Here we see baby, wearing an adorable bonnet. I\u2019m going to get this blown up poster size and hang copies of it up all over the house. It will torment her.\" data-attachment-id=\"82\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Baby Hat\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/BabyHat\/4211289268.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Here we see baby, wearing an adorable bonnet. I\u2019m going to get this blown up poster size and hang copies of it up all over the house. It will torment her.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Drinking.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Baby likes to drink from grown-up glasses. Cute!!!!!!!\" data-attachment-id=\"83\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Baby Drinking\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Drinking\/1043997087.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Baby likes to drink from grown-up glasses. Cute!!!!!!!<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Eating-2.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"The horrifying result of an early experiment feeding baby rice cereal.\" data-attachment-id=\"351\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Baby Eating 2\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Eating-2\/3087924443.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">The horrifying result of an early experiment feeding baby rice cereal.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Sitting.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"I thought this picture was a little dull, so I added an attacking, radioactive, green, flying blob of poo. Look out, baby!!!!!\" data-attachment-id=\"85\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Sitting\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Sitting\/1325517846.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">I thought this picture was a little dull, so I added an attacking, radioactive, green, flying blob of poo. Look out, baby!!!!!<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-black-background-color has-black-color is-style-wide\" id=\"at9months\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading\">Pictures of Cordelia At 9ish Months<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">For loyal fans of our baby\u2019s adventures, here are more photos. Warning: May contain mild amounts of humor. Very mild.<\/p>\n\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\">\n#foogallery-gallery-488 .fg-image { width: 200px; }\n#foogallery-gallery-488 { --fg-gutter: 15px; }<\/style>\n\t\t\t<div class=\"foogallery foogallery-container foogallery-default foogallery-lightbox-foobox fg-center fg-default fg-ready fg-light fg-border-thick fg-round-small fg-shadow-outline fg-shadow-inset-small fg-loading-partial fg-loaded-fade-in fg-caption-hover fg-hover-fade fg-hover-zoom3\" id=\"foogallery-gallery-488\" data-foogallery=\"{&quot;item&quot;:{&quot;showCaptionTitle&quot;:true,&quot;showCaptionDescription&quot;:true},&quot;lazy&quot;:true}\" style=\"--fg-title-line-clamp: 0; --fg-description-line-clamp: 0;\" >\n\t<div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Dining_Family.jpg\" data-caption-title=\"Dining Family\" data-caption-desc=\"An adorable photo of Cordelia with her parents. Note how the baby has lashed out with her razor sharp claws, doing unexpected damage to mommy\u2019s face.\" data-attachment-id=\"87\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Dining_Family\" title=\"Dining Family\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Dining_Family\/2448432127.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Dining Family<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">An adorable photo of Cordelia with her parents. Note how the baby has lashed out with her razor sharp claws, doing unexpected damage to mommy\u2019s face.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/JewelHead.jpg\" data-caption-title=\"Jewel Head\" data-caption-desc=\"This was a picture of Cordelia sucking on a silver cup. I thought that that was sort of dull, so I changed it. Now Cordelia is sucking on the head of pleasant and non-threatening folk singer Jewel.\" data-attachment-id=\"88\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Jewel_Head\" title=\"Jewel Head\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/JewelHead\/1012603157.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Jewel Head<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">This was a picture of Cordelia sucking on a silver cup. I thought that that was sort of dull, so I changed it. Now Cordelia is sucking on the head of pleasant and non-threatening folk singer Jewel.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Teletubbies2.jpg\" data-caption-title=\"Teletubbies 2\" data-caption-desc=\"Cordelia watching TeleTubbies with rapt attention.\" data-attachment-id=\"91\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Teletubbies2\" title=\"Teletubbies 2\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Teletubbies2\/749282658.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Teletubbies 2<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Cordelia watching TeleTubbies with rapt attention.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Teletubbies1.jpg\" data-caption-title=\"Teletubbies 1\" data-caption-desc=\"Cordelia watching TeleTubbies, viewed from the front. Note her total attention.\" data-attachment-id=\"90\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Teletubbies1\" title=\"Teletubbies 1\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Teletubbies1\/3158926463.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Teletubbies 1<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Cordelia watching TeleTubbies, viewed from the front. Note her total attention.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Poor_Face.jpg\" data-caption-title=\"Poor Face\" data-caption-desc=\"Cordelia\u2019s facial scabbing, caused by excess drool. Note that this picture makes the problem look much worse than it actually was. ... OK. A little bit worse.\" data-attachment-id=\"89\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Poor_Face\" title=\"Poor Face\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Poor_Face\/4289950037.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Poor Face<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Cordelia\u2019s facial scabbing, caused by excess drool. Note that this picture makes the problem look much worse than it actually was. &#8230; OK. A little bit worse.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Carrot_Face.jpg\" data-caption-title=\"Carrot Face\" data-caption-desc=\"Cordelia has moved on to solid foods. Here she is after we fed her a raw squirrel.\" data-attachment-id=\"86\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Carrot_Face\" title=\"Carrot Face\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Carrot_Face\/220011451.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Carrot Face<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Cordelia has moved on to solid foods. Here she is after we fed her a raw squirrel.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-text-color has-background has-black-background-color has-black-color is-style-wide\" id=\"at12months\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading\">Pictures of Cordelia Around 12 Months <\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">For fans of the baby and toddler journals, here, as some have requested, are a number of other pictures of the baby. This will make our nightmarish adventures much easier to picture in your brains.<\/p>\n\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\">\n#foogallery-gallery-505 .fg-image { width: 200px; }\n#foogallery-gallery-505 { --fg-gutter: 10px; }<\/style>\n\t\t\t<div class=\"foogallery foogallery-container foogallery-default foogallery-lightbox-foobox fg-center fg-default fg-ready fg-light fg-border-thick fg-round-small fg-shadow-outline fg-loading-partial fg-loaded-fade-in fg-caption-hover fg-hover-fade fg-hover-zoom3\" id=\"foogallery-gallery-505\" data-foogallery=\"{&quot;item&quot;:{&quot;showCaptionTitle&quot;:true,&quot;showCaptionDescription&quot;:true},&quot;lazy&quot;:true}\" style=\"--fg-title-line-clamp: 0; --fg-description-line-clamp: 0;\" >\n\t<div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Teletubbies.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Toddlers clustered, worshipping their Pagan god.\" data-caption-title=\"Teletubbies\" data-attachment-id=\"102\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Teletubbies\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Teletubbies\/1479683436.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Teletubbies<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Toddlers clustered, worshipping their Pagan god.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/lickmirror.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Here, we see Cordelia licking the mirror. Toddlers do incomprehensible shit like this all the time.\" data-caption-title=\"Licking Mirror\" data-attachment-id=\"99\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Licking Mirror\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/lickmirror\/1873899846.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Licking Mirror<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Here, we see Cordelia licking the mirror. Toddlers do incomprehensible shit like this all the time.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/SmotheringLove.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"The best love is smothering love.\" data-caption-title=\"Smothering Love\" data-attachment-id=\"100\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Smothering Love\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/SmotheringLove\/4027015548.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Smothering Love<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">The best love is smothering love.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Squat.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Cordelia sits in the middle of a huge, scary emptiness. Angst consumes her.\" data-caption-title=\"Squat\" data-attachment-id=\"101\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Squat\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Squat\/2885277358.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Squat<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Cordelia sits in the middle of a huge, scary emptiness. Angst consumes her.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Adorable.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"This is the cutest known picture of Cordelia. It is also the only known picture in which she looks like a girl.\" data-caption-title=\"Adorable\" data-attachment-id=\"96\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Adorable\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/Adorable\/2273510477.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Adorable<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">This is the cutest known picture of Cordelia. It is also the only known picture in which she looks like a girl.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/BedHair.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Cordelia with bed hair. This picture make her appear to have a certain intelligent, wistful self-awareness. I assure you that the effect is an illusion.\" data-caption-title=\"Bed Hair\" data-attachment-id=\"97\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Bed Hair\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/BedHair\/3073430315.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Bed Hair<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Cordelia with bed hair. This picture make her appear to have a certain intelligent, wistful self-awareness. I assure you that the effect is an illusion.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fg-item fg-type-image fg-idle\"><figure class=\"fg-item-inner\"><a href=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/happymoment.jpg\" data-caption-desc=\"Here, we see actual parenting taking place.\" data-caption-title=\"Happy Moment\" data-attachment-id=\"98\" data-type=\"image\" class=\"fg-thumb\"><span class=\"fg-image-wrap\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Happy Moment\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" class=\"skip-lazy fg-image\" data-src-fg=\"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/cache\/2020\/09\/happymoment\/2920502644.jpg\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%20width%3D%22200%22%20height%3D%22200%22%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20200%20200%22%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" loading=\"eager\"><\/span><span class=\"fg-image-overlay\"><\/span><\/a><figcaption class=\"fg-caption\"><div class=\"fg-caption-inner\"><div class=\"fg-caption-title\">Happy Moment<\/div><div class=\"fg-caption-desc\">Here, we see actual parenting taking place.<\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><div class=\"fg-loader\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Supplemental Material Jump to: Setting Up Your Baby&#8217;s Bassinet. Or Something. The Poo Bomb (Warning only strong stomachs need apply.) Cordelia at 5-7 months. Cordelia at 9ish months. Cordelia at&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-310","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/310","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=310"}],"version-history":[{"count":52,"href":"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/310\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":819,"href":"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/310\/revisions\/819"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ironycentral.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=310"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}