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I Can See The Future...

One day drugs will be legalised. When that day comes, somebody will make a mint by writing ad copy.

I plan to be that somebody.

"When your little girl asks for a pony, why not get her a little horse?"

"Start your kid on the fast track with Kellogg's Frosted Sugar Smack (part of this nutritious breakfast)"

These would play, of course, during the commercial breaks of The Mighty Morphine Power Rangers, the Most Laid Back Kids In The Kosmos!

Or perhaps Kellogg would merge with a certain ice tea producing company, and the little elves would go Crack Snapple Pop. Or, Crack Snapple Pop would be the new flavor of Snapple, which would keep you awake for a while, but not alert.

Some amateur will, of course, start slipping some X or related substance into the filling of Pop Tarts, so that they will _finally_ be palatable. But only I will think to then market Pop Tarts with Prozac, for the health conscious consumer worried about all those drugs.

Selling liver with little packets of Prozac is actually a good idea, on the ground that only the truly disturbed buy liver of their own free will.

Downers in school lunches is an idea whose time has come. Driven nuts by hordes of hyper kiddies rampagins across the playground during the lunch break? A little creative cooking, and they'll just be lying moistly on the hot asphault, twitching slightly, like a horde of giant, Keds wearing maggots.

Yes. It is a brave new future that awaits us. All it needs, is someone to stand tall, stride forward, and hack out a piece of it.

- Jeff Vogel Scorched Earth Party


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