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An Inspirational Scorched Earth Tale

Once they were building this new college, see. And it came time to figure out where they were going to put the sidewalks. You see, they didn't want the stupid students to ravage the nice grass, so they wanted to place the sidewalks just right.

They though about how to do this, and thought and thought, and had an idea.

They built the whole school without any sidewalks. Any at all.

Then they watched carefully, after the stupid, worthless students arrived, and saw where tracks started appearing in the lush lawns. Then they waited by those tracks. And whenever students walked by, they leaped out and beat the living shit out of them.

They kept this up for 9 months.

Then, during the summer, they built their sidewalks WHEREVER THE FUCK THEY WANTED. And when the students returned, battered and bruised, they were conditioned not to walk on the grass!

Of course, eight or nine years later, when the starting class graduated, the new students didn't have the conditioning. So the college had to be RAZED TO THE FUCKING GROUND!

Now there is nothing there but charred rubble. The end.

Scorched Earth Party -

"Harsh solutions to non-existant problems."

- Jeff Vogel Scorched Earth Party


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