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Pro-Life and Pro-Choice

It occurs to me that being pro-life or pro-choice are just dead ends. The Scorched Earth Party is the first party to go beyond such an artificial dichotomy. The Scorched Earth Party is Pro-Pro-Life. We will, upon taking power, create gigantic embryo farms. Then, the Embryo Goons will take those little globs of cells, and forcibly place them in random people on the street. THAT'LL SHOW EM!

But we at the Scorched Earth Party are not sexist. Embryos will be forcibly implanted in men and women alike. Got some problems, smart guy? Let's see you cause trouble with a two-pound fetus doing high kicks a foot up your ass!

- Jeff Vogel Scorched Earth Party


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