Travel With Irony Central

Remember when people used to travel the world? That was nice. We traveled a little, back when it was possible. We visited interesting places and wrote mean things about them. As time passes, we will put those journals here. Then we can laugh together at people who are different from us.

Travel

The Story About the Baby, Volume 19.

ByspidwebSep 28, 20207 min read

As I help raise my little four month old, Cordelia, I sometimes think wistfully back to the time when she wasn’t awful. Once, she was a quiet, happy, burbling baby, who loved life and stuffed animals and the 5-7 uninterrupted hours of quiet sleep she got every night. Then her…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 20.

ByspidwebSep 28, 20207 min read

Our four-month-plus-a-little old girl, Cordelia, is a creature of wild mood swings. One week, she is a sleepless, finger gnawing little terror. The next, she is a little angel. Not the sort of bullshit angel with wings and a harp you see on Hallmark cards, but the sort of angel…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 21.

ByspidwebSep 28, 20207 min read

It has now been five months since my daughter Cordelia came out of my wife and into our hearts. She’s come a long way since her first fragile moments. She’s made a lot of advances. For example, she doesn’t have an umbilical cord attached to her any more. And she…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 22.

ByspidwebSep 28, 20208 min read

Being the parent of the world’s cutest child is a difficult and sobering experience. (Yes, I’m afraid my child is cuter than your child. If you don’t believe me, check out cutechildrankings.org.) Humbly accepting the awed compliments of so many strangers is tiring. As our daughter Cordelia sails through her…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 23.

ByspidwebSep 28, 20206 min read

My daughter Cordelia, the cutest little pudge biscuit in the whole wide world, my little cutey wootie pootie bootie happy slappy hugger booger boo, is about five and a half months old. Every week, she grows stronger and smarter and more advanced in her techniques for demanding constant attention from…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 24.

ByspidwebSep 28, 20208 min read

Our mighty nation has just celebrated Independence Day, which, for this new parent, means one thing. I got to take my five month old daughter Cordelia and let her listen to explosions for the first time. She dealt with the firecrackers and bottle rockets with relaxed dignity, up to the…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 25.

ByspidwebSep 28, 20207 min read

My baby daughter, Cordelia, is rounding out her sixth month of life with a series of small accomplishments. She can now sit up unassisted for several seconds at a time, especially if an amusing object or tasty bit of newspaper is put in front of her. She can now take…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 26.

ByspidwebSep 28, 20207 min read

My baby Cordelia just turned six months old. Six months is a half a year. That’s a lot of time in baby-days. She is a completely different creature than she was when she was first born. All the bloody slime has been wiped off, for example. And she is not…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 27.

ByspidwebSep 28, 20206 min read

Halfway through my daughter Cordelia’s first year, I find I have very little to write about her. Because she is away. Thousands of miles away. Her mother has taken her for a week of seeing family, giving me a sweet, succulent week of freedom to leave me extra tormented when…