Travel With Irony Central

Remember when people used to travel the world? That was nice. We traveled a little, back when it was possible. We visited interesting places and wrote mean things about them. As time passes, we will put those journals here. Then we can laugh together at people who are different from us.

Travel

The Story About the Baby, Volume 1.

ByspidwebSep 24, 20206 min read

And So It Came To Pass On the evening of January 18th, at around 8 PM, my first child, Cordelia Krizsan Vogel, entered the world. She came out of Mariann, my wife. She got her mother’s facial shape, her father’s irritability, and her mother’s genitalia. The event was the joyous…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 2.

ByspidwebSep 24, 20207 min read

It has now been a week since my child, Cordelia Krizsan Vogel, was born. She is now the personification of infant charm and beauty. And her head doesn’t have that lumpy, fucked-up pear shape anymore. She also has skills. Today, at the doctor’s office, to everyone’s amazement, she rolled over…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 3.

ByspidwebSep 24, 20207 min read

The second week of our daughter’s life was a time of great learning and transition. In that time, my wife and I went from being tired and confused but loving guardians of a young life to The Worst Parents Ever. So, Cordelia, my daughter, when you someday read this, bear…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 4

ByspidwebSep 24, 20206 min read

As of this writing, our daughter Cordelia is 3.5 weeks old. On one hand, she is growing nicely, and she sleeps 5-6 uninterrupted hours every night. All to the good. On the other hand, looking into her eyes, I can’t see any signs that she loves me. Nothing there at…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 5.

ByspidwebSep 24, 20207 min read

Now that my daughter Cordelia is a month old, it has become that much easier to delude myself into thinking that she is showing signs of alertness and humanity. Sometimes she looks up and makes eye contact with me with such a piercing gaze that I can’t help but believe…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 6.

ByspidwebSep 24, 20206 min read

As of this writing, our darling daughter is 43 days old. We have come up with a number of nicknames for her. The most commonly used are Miss Prissypants, Daddy’s Little Fussbucket, and Poo Princess. We will develop more as time and circumstances allow. A Few Brief Words On the…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 7.

ByspidwebSep 24, 20209 min read

Soon, our daughter Cordelia will be two months old. Another month. Another set of milestones. Soon, more weight to be brought to bear on daddy’s delicate back. Larger deposits of feces. More sentience. Teeth. On the bright side, at my 10 year college reunion, I will get to brag that…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 8.

ByspidwebSep 24, 20208 min read

It took extra time to write this week’s journal. It was composed while holding my 2 month old daughter Cordelia in my lap, and I had to write the whole thing one handed. You would think my 14 years on the Internet would have made me better at typing one-handed.…

The Story About the Baby, Volume 9.

ByspidwebSep 24, 20208 min read

Spring is beginning to blossom, pollen is thick in the air, and the bright stillness of the morning is broken by the happy chirps of my daughter Cordelia. Now over two months old and well over ten pounds, she has attained a major milestone in the eyes of her daddy.…