This page contains a highly subjective selection of the finest writings to ever appear on this web site. Now you don’t have to sort through all of the chum in the archives. Just read and savor. Mmmmm …

Post List #1

The Story About the Toddler, Volume 9.

ByspidwebOct 6, 20207 min read

Cordelia, the toddler who cruel Fate placed in our care, is twenty-one months old. And she is still advancing, in all of the expected ways. Toddlers develop differently than babies…

The Story About the Toddler, Volume 8.

ByspidwebOct 6, 20208 min read

Our daughter Cordelia is now twenty months old. As the loyal and, sadly, honest biographer of her young life, I must relate that she has truly begun to discover her…

The Story About the Toddler, Volume 7.

ByspidwebOct 6, 20208 min read

Cordelia, the nineteen month old toddler to which I provide moderate-quality parenting care, continues to learn to think. For example, the other day, she got the Teletubbies DVD out of…

The Story About the Toddler, Volume 6.

ByspidwebOct 6, 20209 min read

As my little toddler girl Cordelia has grown older, I have charted her progress by determining the animal she was most similar to. First, it was limpet. Then turtle. Then…

The Story About the Toddler, Volume 5.

ByspidwebOct 6, 20208 min read

Cordelia, our little toddling girl, is now seventeen months old. At this age, her body grows slowly, but her brain develops extremely quickly. This is a problem. Consider this. Imagine…

The Story About the Toddler, Volume 4.

ByspidwebOct 6, 20207 min read

Now that our baby Cordelia is sixteen months old, all of the pieces are falling into place. It is rapidly becoming clear that she is a sinister creature, a Bad…

The Story About the Toddler, Volume 3.

ByspidwebOct 6, 20206 min read

Our little toddler Cordelia is now fifteen months old. Every day, she is more human and less funny. I am starting to feel a strange sort of empathy with her….

The Story About the Toddler, Volume 2.

ByspidwebOct 3, 20208 min read

Cordelia, the fruit of half of my DNA and the sole vessel for carrying my hopes and dreams into a gruesome future, is fourteen months old now. She’s old enough…

The Story About the Toddler, Volume 1.

ByspidwebOct 3, 20208 min read

Not long after our daughter Cordelia’s first birthday, she stood up on her own for the first time. About ten minutes after that, she decided that standing up was bullshit…